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Happy One Year Birthday, Threads! We're Sorry You Failed

Meta ThreadsRemember when Meta launched Threads last July? Oh, the hype! 100 million sign-ups in mere days had everyone buzzing: could Zuck’s new toy dethrone Elon and send Twitter packing?

There was big talk from the Meta boss himself: “It’ll take some time, but I think there should be a public conversations app with 1 billion+ people on it,” he boldly declared. “Twitter has had the opportunity to do this but hasn’t nailed it. Hopefully we will.”

Fast forward to now, as Threads limps towards its one-year mark. A meager 175 million monthly active users, Meta admits. Decent, sure, but a far cry from that lofty 1 billion target.

X (aka Twitter) has about 206 million users, according to the googlewebs.

Experts posit the problem is an oversaturated “microblogging space” and waning interest in social media overall. Threads just happened to pop up at peak backlash. Oops.

But hey, Meta’s still gung-ho! They’re touting nifty features like… an API! Wow. A spiffier website! Groundbreaking. Trending topics – like Twitter had eons ago! Yawn. Something about “fediverse” integration, whatever that is. Sorry Zuck, too little, too late.

The Threads squad is in “move fast, break things” overdrive, frantically flinging features at the wall to see what sticks. Live sports scores, you say? Riveting.

And what are the loyal Threaders posting about? Books. Basketball. Taylor Swift. How delightfully vanilla. Threads is going to great lengths to keep things “friendly” – no edgy memes or spicy political takes here, folks! Mustn’t ruffle any feathers in Zuckerberg’s sterile Stepford-wife utopia.

But let’s be real: Threads won’t fill Twitter’s shoes. It was the Wild West of witty quips, scandalous jabs, breaking news, and wacky weather bots, all colliding in chaotic harmony. That magic can’t be manufactured in Meta’s sanitized safe space.

The cold, hard truth? A year on, Threads is sputtering. Elon and Twitter (or X or whatever we’re calling it now) are still standing, smugly sipping champagne atop the social media pile. Turns out even the almighty Zuckerberg can’t snap his fingers and conjure up a billion users out of thin air. Better luck next time, Zuck!


1 Comment

  1. Daniel15:

    I don’t know if this post is serious, or sarcastic, or satire, or what. hahaha

    I like the part where you say it’s failing even though it’s getting close to the number of users Twitter has, after only a year.

    July 3, 2024 @ 2:42 pm | Reply

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